Chuggaboom Yule Be Disappointed This Chuggmas Lyrics

[Intro]
What the fuck can you buy with five pounds?

[Verse 1]
It's that time of year again
Where the hoards of a thousand clueless men
Go to Boots and ask a shop assistant for shopping advice
Well, quelle surprise
It's the Christmas temp for me
Why the fuck do we all agree
To buy a present for somebody that we wouldn't even look at in the street
It's like Deal or No Deal where everyone's a loser
A pointless gift 'cause I'm never gonna use ya
Is it a brush? Is it a cat?
Am I too late to ask for my fiver back?

[Chorus]
So here we go
Five pounds down the rabbit hole
What will I emerge with?
(What will I emerge with?)
I don't know

[Verse 2]
Right
So let's get started on this human game of Guess Who?
She's got him and he's got her and that guy's got you
You look upset now but you must accept that
You'll want to know who you can trust and who'll decept ya
It doesn't take Scooby Doo to work out which moron got you
That fridge magnet from Bristol Zoo
Or that book wrote by that cunt from Blue

[Chorus]
So here we go
Five pounds down the rabbit hole
What will I emerge with?
(What will I emerge with?)
I don't know
But it's work tradition every god-damn Christmas
What will I emerge with?
I don't know

[Breakdown]
Now it's time for the main event
Company credit card, not a penny spent
Anticipation fills the room
And then it gets to you
What the fuck?
A lynx Africa gift box, are you fucking shitting me?

[Chorus]
So here we go
Five pounds down the rabbit hole
What will I emerge with?
I don't know
But it's work tradition every god-damn Christmas
What will I emerge with?
I don't know

[Outro]