Steven Universe Pilot Lyrics
Pilot by Steven Universe
[Open Int. Steven's Room- Steven]
(Steven eating potato chips, staring at the Warp Pad for the Gems to return then, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl warp in)
Steven: You're back!
Amethyst: Hey Steven, look at this! *pulls out a small Electric Skull which cackles*
Pearl: Woah, what are you, crazy?! *knocks the Electric Skull out of Amethyst's hand and steps on it*
Steven: What the heck was that?!
Pearl: An Electric Skull, our Crystal Palace was swarming with them. *sits down on couch*
Amethyst: They were after this. *takes out The Hourglass from fanny-pack*
Steven: *entranced* Can I see that?
Amethyst: Yeah, sure. *Hourglass falls into Amethyst's hand*
Pearl: *interrupts* No! It's extremely powerful, we shouldn't have even brought it home.
Steven: Garnet, tell Pearl to let me see the thing- *Garnet puts finger to his lips*
Garnet: Shh... *has finger on Steven's lip*
Steven: Aw, man. I wanna come next time. I even wrote us a song. *takes out ukulele* It's like: 'If you're...” W-wait, hold on. *tunes ukulele, sings We Are The Crystal Gems*
All Gems: *clapping*
Amethyst: *chuckle* What's with the part about pizzas?
Steven: That's just a best case scenario.
Pearl: You wanna sing that during battle?
Steven: Yeah.
Pearl: Why?
Steven: Because I'll look really cool!
Pearl: *chuckling* You'll look...like a clown! *Pearl and Amethyst laugh*
Garnet: Hey! Don't make fun of Steven.
Pearl: Look Steven, you're still too young to come with us. You don't even have powers in your gem.
Steven: But I wanna help!
Amethyst: Why don't you grab us some doughnuts? *gives him a wad of money and hints at it*
[Trans. Ext. Steven's Room- Steven]
Steven: *looks in hand and finds The Hourglass, gasps* The thing! *excitedly goes to Big Donut*
[Trans. Int. Big Donut- Steven, Lars and Sadie]
Lars and Sadie: *Murmuring to each other*
Lars: Well, if it isn't Steven, of the 'crystal femmes”.
Steven: *sighs* Hey Lars. *slams money on counter* Just give me three doughnuts.
Lars: You want me to connect them with a hot dog?
Steven: *gasps, looks at 'dog-nut” ad* Oh, no, they're not for me. It's for Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl.
Lars: *getting doughnuts* What are they anyways? Witches or ghosts or something?
Steven: They're Crystal Gems and they save the world, like all the time. And I'm a Crystal Gem too.
Lars: Aren't they all like, hot girls? You're not exactly a hot girl, Steven.
(Steven grabs doughnuts and walks out)
Sadie: Uh, Lay off!
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut- Steven]
Steven: *grumpily to himself* 'Not exactly a hot girl.” Well, if I was, I wouldn't be talking to you. *gasps* Aw, I should have said that, that's really funny! *Hourglass activates, whites out screen*
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
(Steven is suddenly back in the Big Donut, at the counter)
Lars: -not exactly a hot girl Steven.
Steven: *confused gasps, stuttering* Well, if I was, I wouldn't be talking to you! *triumphantly laughs*
Sadie: *laughing* Steven, good one. *hi-fives Steven*
Lars: *frustrated* You're a joke! You know that right? You're a big joke!
Sadie: Lay off! *Steven walks out again*
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut- Steven]
Steven: The thing, did it let me do that comeback to Lars? Ugh, what's his problem? Calling me a joke. *pretending to talk to Lars* Must be tougher for you Lars, at least people like jokes. Ah that's what I should've-! *Hourglass activates, gasps happily*
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
(Back once more)
Lars: You're a joke! You know that right? You're a big joke!
Steven: *excited* It must be tougher for you, Lars. At least people like jokes! *laughs*
(Steven grabs doughnuts and runs out)
Sadie: *laughing* Oh Steven, you're on fire!
[Trans. Int. Steven's Room- Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst]
Garnet: *to Amethyst* ...I just have a bad feeling. *Steven enters*
Steven: I was at the Big Donut, and Lars was giving me trouble, and he was like 'You're a joke!” and then, the thing *reveals Hourglass* took me back in time, and I was like-
Pearl: Wh-why do you have that? *stares at Amethyst* Why did you give him that!?
Amethyst: He wanted to see it! I was letting him see it!
Pearl: *to Steven* We've been protecting that Hourglass for a thousand years. Now that it's activated, it can only be used by you for its chosen purpose. What did you use it for?
Steven: Comebacks...? *Amethyst laughs*
Pearl: Comebacks? You used it, for comebacks?
Garnet: *suddenly* Look outside.
(All rush to window)
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut- Gems, Steven, Sadie, Lars and Electric Skull]
(Electric Skull wandering around outside, bringing thunder clouds, Gems and Steven approach)
Pearl: We've lead it right to us. Oh, Steven, it can see the holes you've ripped in the fabric of time.
Garnet: Steven! Why are you such a butt face?
Steven: *hurt* W-w-What?
Garnet: Gems! Call your weapons!
(Gems summon their weapons and attack the Electric Skull Pearl is grabbed, and thrown, Amethyst attempts to save her with her whip but is thrown against the Big Donut sign and both it and her fall to the ground while Sadie and Lars watch)
Steven: Pearl! Amethyst!
(Steven catches Amethyst, pushes Sadie and Lars out of the way and then crawls over to Pearl. Garnet punches the Electric Skull, pulling one of its hair tendrils out)
Steven: Is this normal? Are we winning?
Garnet: No, this is bad, Steven. Help!
Steven: *tearing up* Ah, I can't. I-I'm *realization* "a butt face". *takes out Hourglass* 'Why am I such "a butt face"? I know you are but what am- No, that's not good enough! I-I can come up with a better line than that with my..butt closed. Oh, that doesn't make any sense!. Uh, Butt face, why am I- *shocked by lighting* aah, Garnet! Uh, butt face, I can't...help it...WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?! *Hourglass activates*
(Garnet, previously)
Garnet: Why are you such a butt face?
Steven: *eyes closed* I can't help it, what's your excuse?
Garnet: *gasp* You did it. What happened?
Steven: *analyzing* Get back! *pushes Garnet, Electric Skull slams ground, throwing Steven up near Big Donut sign* Oh, oh, get up here! *Gems jump up, behind sign* We can't get close to it but we've got to take out its hair thingies! Everybody push! (All push sign) Eat this!
(Sign falls on Electric Skull, pinning it and causing lightning to blast it, burn its hair and explode, clouds dissipate)
Steven: *victory scream, to Lars and Sadie laughing* I saved you, I saved you! And you guys! I wish I could've told you this morning, that this 'clown” was going to save your life! *Hourglass activates* No, no no! *repeatedly*
[Trans. Int. Steven's Room]
Pearl: *laughing* You'll look, like a clown.
Steven: NOOOO! *throws Hourglass to floor, breaking it into pieces*
Pearl: What the?
Amethyst: It's okay Steven. You're our clown.
Pearl: Yes, a very hilarious clown.
Garnet: Hey! Don't make fun of Steven.
Steven: Yeah! This clown is gonna save your lives.
[End]
(Steven eating potato chips, staring at the Warp Pad for the Gems to return then, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl warp in)
Steven: You're back!
Amethyst: Hey Steven, look at this! *pulls out a small Electric Skull which cackles*
Pearl: Woah, what are you, crazy?! *knocks the Electric Skull out of Amethyst's hand and steps on it*
Steven: What the heck was that?!
Pearl: An Electric Skull, our Crystal Palace was swarming with them. *sits down on couch*
Amethyst: They were after this. *takes out The Hourglass from fanny-pack*
Steven: *entranced* Can I see that?
Amethyst: Yeah, sure. *Hourglass falls into Amethyst's hand*
Pearl: *interrupts* No! It's extremely powerful, we shouldn't have even brought it home.
Steven: Garnet, tell Pearl to let me see the thing- *Garnet puts finger to his lips*
Garnet: Shh... *has finger on Steven's lip*
Steven: Aw, man. I wanna come next time. I even wrote us a song. *takes out ukulele* It's like: 'If you're...” W-wait, hold on. *tunes ukulele, sings We Are The Crystal Gems*
All Gems: *clapping*
Amethyst: *chuckle* What's with the part about pizzas?
Steven: That's just a best case scenario.
Pearl: You wanna sing that during battle?
Steven: Yeah.
Pearl: Why?
Steven: Because I'll look really cool!
Pearl: *chuckling* You'll look...like a clown! *Pearl and Amethyst laugh*
Garnet: Hey! Don't make fun of Steven.
Pearl: Look Steven, you're still too young to come with us. You don't even have powers in your gem.
Steven: But I wanna help!
Amethyst: Why don't you grab us some doughnuts? *gives him a wad of money and hints at it*
[Trans. Ext. Steven's Room- Steven]
Steven: *looks in hand and finds The Hourglass, gasps* The thing! *excitedly goes to Big Donut*
[Trans. Int. Big Donut- Steven, Lars and Sadie]
Lars and Sadie: *Murmuring to each other*
Lars: Well, if it isn't Steven, of the 'crystal femmes”.
Steven: *sighs* Hey Lars. *slams money on counter* Just give me three doughnuts.
Lars: You want me to connect them with a hot dog?
Steven: *gasps, looks at 'dog-nut” ad* Oh, no, they're not for me. It's for Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl.
Lars: *getting doughnuts* What are they anyways? Witches or ghosts or something?
Steven: They're Crystal Gems and they save the world, like all the time. And I'm a Crystal Gem too.
Lars: Aren't they all like, hot girls? You're not exactly a hot girl, Steven.
(Steven grabs doughnuts and walks out)
Sadie: Uh, Lay off!
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut- Steven]
Steven: *grumpily to himself* 'Not exactly a hot girl.” Well, if I was, I wouldn't be talking to you. *gasps* Aw, I should have said that, that's really funny! *Hourglass activates, whites out screen*
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
(Steven is suddenly back in the Big Donut, at the counter)
Lars: -not exactly a hot girl Steven.
Steven: *confused gasps, stuttering* Well, if I was, I wouldn't be talking to you! *triumphantly laughs*
Sadie: *laughing* Steven, good one. *hi-fives Steven*
Lars: *frustrated* You're a joke! You know that right? You're a big joke!
Sadie: Lay off! *Steven walks out again*
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut- Steven]
Steven: The thing, did it let me do that comeback to Lars? Ugh, what's his problem? Calling me a joke. *pretending to talk to Lars* Must be tougher for you Lars, at least people like jokes. Ah that's what I should've-! *Hourglass activates, gasps happily*
[Trans. Int. Big Donut]
(Back once more)
Lars: You're a joke! You know that right? You're a big joke!
Steven: *excited* It must be tougher for you, Lars. At least people like jokes! *laughs*
(Steven grabs doughnuts and runs out)
Sadie: *laughing* Oh Steven, you're on fire!
[Trans. Int. Steven's Room- Pearl, Garnet and Amethyst]
Garnet: *to Amethyst* ...I just have a bad feeling. *Steven enters*
Steven: I was at the Big Donut, and Lars was giving me trouble, and he was like 'You're a joke!” and then, the thing *reveals Hourglass* took me back in time, and I was like-
Pearl: Wh-why do you have that? *stares at Amethyst* Why did you give him that!?
Amethyst: He wanted to see it! I was letting him see it!
Pearl: *to Steven* We've been protecting that Hourglass for a thousand years. Now that it's activated, it can only be used by you for its chosen purpose. What did you use it for?
Steven: Comebacks...? *Amethyst laughs*
Pearl: Comebacks? You used it, for comebacks?
Garnet: *suddenly* Look outside.
(All rush to window)
[Trans. Ext. Big Donut- Gems, Steven, Sadie, Lars and Electric Skull]
(Electric Skull wandering around outside, bringing thunder clouds, Gems and Steven approach)
Pearl: We've lead it right to us. Oh, Steven, it can see the holes you've ripped in the fabric of time.
Garnet: Steven! Why are you such a butt face?
Steven: *hurt* W-w-What?
Garnet: Gems! Call your weapons!
(Gems summon their weapons and attack the Electric Skull Pearl is grabbed, and thrown, Amethyst attempts to save her with her whip but is thrown against the Big Donut sign and both it and her fall to the ground while Sadie and Lars watch)
Steven: Pearl! Amethyst!
(Steven catches Amethyst, pushes Sadie and Lars out of the way and then crawls over to Pearl. Garnet punches the Electric Skull, pulling one of its hair tendrils out)
Steven: Is this normal? Are we winning?
Garnet: No, this is bad, Steven. Help!
Steven: *tearing up* Ah, I can't. I-I'm *realization* "a butt face". *takes out Hourglass* 'Why am I such "a butt face"? I know you are but what am- No, that's not good enough! I-I can come up with a better line than that with my..butt closed. Oh, that doesn't make any sense!. Uh, Butt face, why am I- *shocked by lighting* aah, Garnet! Uh, butt face, I can't...help it...WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE?! *Hourglass activates*
(Garnet, previously)
Garnet: Why are you such a butt face?
Steven: *eyes closed* I can't help it, what's your excuse?
Garnet: *gasp* You did it. What happened?
Steven: *analyzing* Get back! *pushes Garnet, Electric Skull slams ground, throwing Steven up near Big Donut sign* Oh, oh, get up here! *Gems jump up, behind sign* We can't get close to it but we've got to take out its hair thingies! Everybody push! (All push sign) Eat this!
(Sign falls on Electric Skull, pinning it and causing lightning to blast it, burn its hair and explode, clouds dissipate)
Steven: *victory scream, to Lars and Sadie laughing* I saved you, I saved you! And you guys! I wish I could've told you this morning, that this 'clown” was going to save your life! *Hourglass activates* No, no no! *repeatedly*
[Trans. Int. Steven's Room]
Pearl: *laughing* You'll look, like a clown.
Steven: NOOOO! *throws Hourglass to floor, breaking it into pieces*
Pearl: What the?
Amethyst: It's okay Steven. You're our clown.
Pearl: Yes, a very hilarious clown.
Garnet: Hey! Don't make fun of Steven.
Steven: Yeah! This clown is gonna save your lives.
[End]