Jakey The Last Guardian Rap Review Lyrics
The Last Guardian // RAP REVIEW by Jakey
[Intro]
7 years
That's a long wait
To play a goddamn game
The hype train is of the tracks now
Wait, but how the hell did it turn out not great
[Verse 1}
Right of the bat the FPS is dropping lower than my squat stance
(Yeah my squat stance)
Unless you got a PS Pro you better love a slide show
I mean goddamn
This is next gen
I'll put performance in the back and focus on the fun
Halfway trough the game I'm still seeing button prompts
Oh no
Is this whole game just a tutorial?
You can not turn these off, it's terrible
But if I look the other way
Are you any fun to play?
Can I maybe look past your mistakes
[Chorus]
I want to love you but i can't
Everytime I say jump you only stand
Even though you look so pretty
And goddamn that's a cute ass kitty (oh lord)
How can I make you understand?
[Verse 2]
They made some weird choices with the controls
The type of shit that really don't make no sense at all
And Shadow of the Colossus
You had a dedicated grab button, it was awesome
But in this everything is automatic so it's hard to dictate
Where the hell you wanna climb so it's time you've got to waste
I hate the way this crappy camera is always trying to face off
Face the facts of limitations but it's driving me insane
And it's the pruzzles that's a problem
It takes like 20 seconds and I solved em
But it takes like 20 minutes for this bird to fly straight
The only challenge in this game is for my patience not to break
It's just a shame
Because so many things are calling my name
The animation is incredible
The dog really comes alive
Atmosphere so thick you could cut it with a butter knife
It's not an awful game
There's moments I'm happy I played
But it feels like a big step back from the shadow that's already been made
[Chorus]
I want to love you but i can't
Everytime I say jump you only stand
Even though you look so pretty
And goddamn that's a cute ass kitty (oh lord)
How can I make you understand?
7 years
That's a long wait
To play a goddamn game
The hype train is of the tracks now
Wait, but how the hell did it turn out not great
[Verse 1}
Right of the bat the FPS is dropping lower than my squat stance
(Yeah my squat stance)
Unless you got a PS Pro you better love a slide show
I mean goddamn
This is next gen
I'll put performance in the back and focus on the fun
Halfway trough the game I'm still seeing button prompts
Oh no
Is this whole game just a tutorial?
You can not turn these off, it's terrible
But if I look the other way
Are you any fun to play?
Can I maybe look past your mistakes
[Chorus]
I want to love you but i can't
Everytime I say jump you only stand
Even though you look so pretty
And goddamn that's a cute ass kitty (oh lord)
How can I make you understand?
[Verse 2]
They made some weird choices with the controls
The type of shit that really don't make no sense at all
And Shadow of the Colossus
You had a dedicated grab button, it was awesome
But in this everything is automatic so it's hard to dictate
Where the hell you wanna climb so it's time you've got to waste
I hate the way this crappy camera is always trying to face off
Face the facts of limitations but it's driving me insane
And it's the pruzzles that's a problem
It takes like 20 seconds and I solved em
But it takes like 20 minutes for this bird to fly straight
The only challenge in this game is for my patience not to break
It's just a shame
Because so many things are calling my name
The animation is incredible
The dog really comes alive
Atmosphere so thick you could cut it with a butter knife
It's not an awful game
There's moments I'm happy I played
But it feels like a big step back from the shadow that's already been made
[Chorus]
I want to love you but i can't
Everytime I say jump you only stand
Even though you look so pretty
And goddamn that's a cute ass kitty (oh lord)
How can I make you understand?